Elanor’s Ears Day 2
Today Elanor has headed into town for a gun piercing. With a budget of £25 for a piercing and aftercare, she opted for a 3mm earring made of stainless steel (£10) and the recommended aftercare solution (£15) . She has been advised the following:
Cleanse front and back of the ear 3 times a day for 3 weeks with aftercare solution without removing the studs then rotate 2-3 times 180º left and 180º right ie. A half turn only thus avoiding hair wrapping around the post at the back of the ear
In between cleansing, the ear should be kept dry
Keep hairspray, soap, shampoo and other preparations away from the ear. After shampooing, the ear should be rinsed with clear water and then cleansed with aftercare solution.
The pierced area should be cleansed with aftercare solution then kept dry especially after bathing swimming or exercise.
Leave studs in the ears for 3 weeks
Only wear posts for 6 months from piercing
Do not:
Remove studs or handle your ears and/or studs unnecessarily
Push the butterfly along the post towards the ear - the butterfly must always be positioned at the tip of the post. Feel the position each time you clean the ear - it must feel smooth. This ensures that the earring remains loose during the healing period. This is essential as tight earrings lead to inflammation
Worries I have about this advice:
Cleaning 3 times a day will remove the cells that are sent to the ear to help it heal so I’m predicting it will be inflamed and painful and will not heal as quickly as if left alone. I’m not sure where this idea of constantly cleaning a piercing comes from actually, there is no healthcare organisation that recommends such regular cleaning of a small wound that isn’t a piercing. Why does putting a piece of jewellery in for fashion render it more in need of cleaning than an implant made of the same metal?
What is actually IN this aftercare solution? How does it change the healing time from 12 weeks to 3? Why aren’t doctors giving this out to patients with small wounds? Standard medical guidelines for small wound healing say that the four stages of healing take 12 weeks to complete, in the absence of any complications. How has someone devised a solution that cuts that down to 3 and not mass marketed it? Suspicious face.
How exactly is anyone supposed to not get their ears wet apart from when cleaning it with solution? Surely showering isn’t going to harm anyone?
For that matter, how is anyone supposed to not get shampoo on their ears? I mean even if you wanted to avoid that, how would you??
If you’ve literally just washed your hair with shampoo, obviously you’re rinsing it afterwards, that doesn’t really need saying. BUT what bothers me is why washing something with soap and water would then require cleaning it afterwards with anything else. What do they think the shampoo is going to do after it gets rinsed off?
Why are we turning the earrings? (I do actually have a theory about this which I’ll go into tomorrow)
*The magical aftercare solution in fact contains:
Water (fine, doesn’t everything)
Sodium Hypochlorite. That’s bleach. (YES, THE SAME BLEACH YOU PUT DOWN YOUR TOILET. THE POISONOUS LIQUID THAT BURNS SKIN. THAT BLEACH. IT’S BLEACH. ACTUAL BLEACH. HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS!?!?)
Phosphoric acid. Used in medicine sometimes to help remove necrotic cells. That sounds good but if your ear is necrotic you have bigger problems. (in a few days I’ll tell you about apoptosis but not now) It might not seem like the worst thing in the world, but as well as this medical use, phosphoric acid is highly corrosive (just what I want on my child’s skin) (oh…and probably great for those rhodium plated earrings. That was sarcasm) and, best of all, can be used as a chemical weapon because it creates deadly chlorine gas when it’s mixed with….can you guess?
Bleach.
Brilliant.
Did Putin develop this aftercare solution by any chance?
Well, I guess at least it isn’t saline?
Doesn’t that look a little…snug?
Elanor says: “The gun piercing seemed to take a lot longer to get around to than the needle piercing; there was a lot of setting up to do. It hurt a lot more and left me with a burning pain that still hasn’t gone. It’s like a warmth and stinging and throbbing. It was quick to actually do but I did not enjoy the afterpain!”